Goose Part II: All Hell Breaks Loose

I thought the Geese outside my workplace were weird before... I did. Now everything's reached a whole new level though.

Over the past week, goose drama was unfolding left and right. The word around the office was initially that father goose had left mother goose, or rather, as my co-worker so eloquently put it:

"“Like a typical male, Father goose hits up mother goose and leaves.”


Despite the rage of my feminist coworker, before long we realized that father goose had not actually gone anywhere besides perhaps to some other part of the parking lot for the time being. She probably would have referred to it as "that asshole going out on the town while mother goose was suffering through the trials and tribulations of childbirth" but, considering that I'm a member of the male gender that she seems to have such distaste for, I did not actually approach her for a comment.

Anyways, as this one rumor was extinguished, a more awkward one started to arise in its place. Specifically, the new rumor was that the geese were spotted eating their eggs. As everyone had been crowding around one window to look outside at the geese, I decided to take a peek out said window to see if the rumors were true:

I quickly snapped one picture of the goose from the rain splattered window, but couldn't see the eggs anywhere, so I could only imagine that the goose was still sitting on them. As I took my picture, I jumped as I very quickly got confirmation that father goose had certainly not left mother goose:

 Despite the rain splattered glass separating me and father goose, he had jumped into view so quickly that I was convinced he was determined to rip my face, glass or no glass. Needless to say, I went back to my desk and didn't get very much of a confirmation of what was going on as father goose was now standing there, ever waiting, to rip my face off. 


Needless to say, this all occurred days ago, and the geese are still there, showing no signs of moving. The geese have claimed my workplace to be their home, and will not leave until they conquer and consume everything in their sight.


At this point, all I can truly do is hope that they take sassy feminist co-worker before they take me.