Gotta Punt 'em All

For the readers that I have, I apologize for my absence on this blog. Though I could certainly come up with a number of detailed excuses to explain my absence, they generally all boil down to either busyness or depression. While busyness could certainly be looked at in some senses as a positive thing for one to experience, depression most certainly is not in any scenario whatsoever. When I first created this blog last year, I had been rather depressed and was trying to escape that depression. I believed that perhaps I could combat my depression by using this blog to find the interesting and silly moments in life, focus on them, and examine them in depth. Though I've found that I've developed quite a number of absurd and useless theories on how to deal with life while growing up, a part of me certainly believes there could still be something to this one. After all, for a while this blog did seem to help me, but then I eventually sort of felt myself fall into a rut again. At that point, I had stopped posting and no longer had the humor and silliness in words in front of me to make me laugh and smile. 

Sometimes you do have to look back to actually remember where you're going.

Anyways, without dragging this on any longer, I'm hoping tonight to change this and give myself, and all of you, something to laugh at. You see, over these past few months, I feel like I've started to build up a certain understanding of how to eloquently describe depression, the struggles one may face with it and how, with much work, one may even overcome it. 

Feel free to take a seat and listen in wide eyed and curly haired awe.

Now, I'm not going to beat around the bush, so I'll just note that we're certainly all nerds here. I want you to imagine the world of Pokemon for a second and I imagine you will have no issues doing so. The tall grass. The professor with 3 Pokemon and serious Alzheimer's. The young adults who want to prove that themselves and their Pokemon are the very best.

You're doing it wrong.

Now I'm sure you all now have a pretty clear image of the Pokemon world in your minds, but we're now going to turn that image on its head. Imagine, if you will, a world in which Pokemon trainers do not actually battle one another with their Pokemon but instead work in groups to use one of their Pokemon to form teams and play football against one another.

I'm not entirely sure why, but apparently something like this exists in the anime...

In this scenario, your team is losing by merely 2 points and the clock is ticking away the last 10 seconds of the game. If your team scores a field goal in the next play, you can win the game, but there's a few small issues. For one, your Pokemon is the team's field goal kicker. Now, this certainly might not be an issue if you had yourself a kick-ass Hitmonlee, but you don't. You just so happen to be gifted with nothing more than a Magikarp. As you feel the pressure of your whole team's hopes of victory falling on your shoulders, you can't help but frown as you look down at your Magikarp.

Which just so happens to be flopping around without a care in the world.

The pressure from your teammates at this point is unbearable and just manages to make you feel more and more useless and uncomfortable. You find that you already had little belief in your Magikarp's abilities before this but that you are now feeling more and more horrible and pained by the second. You curse yourself in your mind, realizing your Magikarp is at level 19, and you wish with all your might that you spent the extra time to just reach that 20th level for Gyarados but you know that it's much too late for that now. As you begin to envision the scenes of your team's upcoming loss in your mind, you truly begin to give up. You start to wonder what the point is and why you even tried. You wonder what the point even is of using Splash if it's just going to have no effect. 

And it never will.

Overall, you focus so strongly on your failure to raise your Magikarp up to level 20 prior to this moment that you don't even completely take in the whole situation occurring in front of your eyes. On the field in front of you, your Magikarp is now sucking intently on the football, flopping around and drooling. While you certainly fucked up by not taking the time to evolve your Magikarp, you're not going to be doing yourself or your team any favors by dwelling on that fact. At this very moment in time, you have a Magikarp, not a Gyarados, and you're just going to have to deal with it. You smile slyly down at your Magikarp as you start to think outside the box. You take a few steps back and make a slight nod to yourself to provide your new thought with some personal affirmation. You know that your idea is pretty out there and perhaps even pretty dumb, but you know that you have a lot more to lose by not acting at all than you do by acting on this random impulse. You count to 3 in your head, run forward as fast as possible, pull your leg back, and KICK THAT MOTHERFUCKING MAGIKARP AS FAR AS YOU FUCKING CAN. 

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!!!

Both the Magikarp and the slobber-covered football fly through the goal posts as you find yourself in complete disbelief at your success. You may not have achieved victory in the most conventional manner but you certainly achieved it nonetheless. You stood up against all your anxiety and all the pressure from your teammates and you did something. You might still be stuck with a Magikarp, but suddenly your situation doesn't actually seem that bad to you. You've learned to look at and analyze the positive possibilities of the future instead of merely the negatives of the past and present.

Sure, some fucker in the audience probably got fucking clobbered in the head by your Magikarp, after it ripped through the net behind the goal posts, and is now being rushed to the hospital, but that's their issue, not yours. You set your sights on success, pushed onward with all your might and achieved that success and no individual with a Magikarp-inflicted head wound can take that away from you.