I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore

I realize I haven't updated in a long time but I think it would be a true waste to make yet another post all about how long it's been since I last updated.

So instead, below is a piece I wrote a long time ago that I realized I have yet to post up on here.

If there's any confusion, this is basically a songfic of I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore by REO Speedwagon. The lyrics are interspersed in italics. I also linked the music video from Youtube. I've actually preformed this live for people twice... mostly to an audience of confused onlookers. 

I Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore

I can’t fight this feeling any longer, and yet I’m still afraid to let it flow.

He knew he couldn’t hold this off. It had been hurting him to the very depths of his soul. Pain? Love? No, this was a feeling much stronger. This was hunger.

What started out as friendship has grown stronger, I only wish I had the strength to let it show.

He had known Jenny for years. They’d always hung out casually. She’d stay over sometimes and they’d watch movies for hours and hours on end. He loved all the time they spent together, and realized he might even love her… Wait, fuck that. Fuck Jenny. This didn’t concern her. This was hunger.

I tell myself that I can’t hold out forever. I say there is no reason for my fear.

He couldn’t hold out. It had already been 3 days. Goddamit, he lost track of time while playing WoW again. He kept telling himself there was no reason to be afraid. No reason. But he didn’t believe it. He wouldn’t believe it. He was scared senseless. What if he didn’t have any food left?

Cause I feel so secure when we’re together. You give my life direction, you make everything so clear.

Food. It was always there for him. But what if it wasn’t now? He felt so secure when his cupboards were full, but what if that time came when they were empty? What would he do? That food gave him direction. It kept him from passing out.

And even as I wander, I’m keeping you in sight.

As he wandered the halls of his home, heading down the stairs, he found his mind focusing on his favorite Goya beans. He often stocked up on cans upon cans of the stuff, but he was pretty sure he finished them, and he hadn’t been to the grocery store for months.

You’re a candle in the window, on a cold dark winter’s night.

He left a lit candle on his windowsill once. That was pretty stupid of him, but the wind just blew it out, so it was alright.

I’m getting closer than I ever thought I might.

He could feel it in his very core. He was getting close. The kitchen was right there. As he stepped onto the tile floor, he hoped with all his might that something was left. Some leftovers. Some small scraps of food. Anything.

And I can’t fight this feeling anymore, I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for.

Oh god, the pain. The excruciating pain. He couldn’t take it. His muscles tensed up as he fell to one knee, experiencing the strongest hunger pains he had ever had. He was so close, but this seemed like the end. He couldn’t make it.

It’s time to bring this ship into the shore, and throw away the oars forever.

No, he could make it. He had to make it. He was so close, and he had to hold onto all his hope, and he had to take that trek across the kitchen. He could see the cupboards. He couldn’t give up now.

Cause I can’t fight this feeling anymore, I’ve forgotten what I started fighting for.

No, this was an impossible mission. He tried to stand back up, but his bones were weak, and he flopped forward onto the tiles. The impact dazed him, and for a second he forgot what he was even here for in the first place.

And if I had to crawl upon the floor, come crashing through your door.

He regained his thoughts. This hunger wasn’t going away, and that food was essential for his survival. This was his last chance, and he was going to put his all into it. He crawled across the tiles, all the way to the cabinets at the other end of the kitchen. He mustered up every last ounce of possible strength, and pushed himself back up. Using the cabinets for support, he got back on his feet. His feelings all melded into one. Fear. Anxiety. Hope Hunger. He slowly outstretched his arm, not sure what he would reveal upon opening the cabinet.

Baby, I can’t fight this feeling anymore.

And there they were. The beans were right there.